(Source: gypsymandi)

Raw(ish)

I think I will stop weighing myself at the end of the day…it’s always such a bummer.

But anyways, today was my irst day eating raw…well I ate mostly raw. Some tuna, which isn’t that bad for you. But I can already tell a difference in how I feel. I’m never hungry throughout the day and feel fine when it comes to energy.

tomorrow I plan on going 100% raw… It takes 21 days to kick a habit. So I figure my cravings for chocolate and junk food should subside soon. After that I feel like I can keep it up. Especially if I start to see weight loss progress.

In high hopes :)

tomorrow is a new day…

Alright…no more junk food around me. the fridge is stocked with fruits and veggies

I think since tomorrow I have a pretty lax day when it comes to school that I will eat under 300 calories.

class at 2

so I will wake up probably around¬†9 get ready, leave around 10, and maybe get a haircut. I think I will finally chop a ton of it off. It’s all dead and burned anyways.

that way as I lose weight my hair will have a chance to get healthy again…and or dye it lighter. I used to love having dark hair(natural)…but I realized I was using it as a shield. It was so bland and I never stood out.

I want to go a light caramel…at 110 I will.

fail day

eating raw was going so well…untill I binged on a bunch of junk food.

fml. I couldn’t stop. something is wrong with me.

edit: so it’s 6:40

today was an entire fail.

good news: I binged on all the bad food, and ran out of it. therefore there is no more junk food in my room…just fruits and veggies.

bad news: Still fat(ter than ever) and it’s raining out for the next couple of days as in the entire week, so excerise is almost non exisistant.

Number one reason why I love summer…all the time in the world to work out and eat nothing. both my parents work so they won’t notice.

I look physically more terrible…I tend to store a lot of weight in my face…so I look a lot more chubby than usual…at first I thought everyone would notice how fat and terrible I got. Then I realized no one pays attention to me at all. zero..zip

this year is a throw away year…I probably will never find a boyfriend or a bestfriend in college. Everyone is pretty much in their friend group here and once again I’m the fat loner by herself.

My hope is next year. Next year I will come back to school at 100lbs. I promise myself that I will be more outgoing and make the effort to make friends and guy friends. I don’t want to be the shy, stand off-ish asshole, fat girl anymore.

change needs to happen.

tomorrow = Day 1 of fruitarian

I will try and go 100% tomorrow…bought enough fruit

but it will be hard to kick the coffee…but a cup a day can’t hurt

actually did some research…no coffee…I’m going raw.

so just weighed myself. 142 (please be water weight)

anyways…I was freaking out because I look awful, but then I realized no one pays attention to me at school. Boys don’t notice me, I am basically invisible. So I’m doing this on my own time for myself.

For easter I got a 50$ gift card to sephora. I was so tempted to go there and pick up something.

but decided to use it as a reward and use it when I hit 129. when that will be…hopefully soon, with in the next month. I hear people lose like a pound a day on the raw foods diet. so it will be a total of 14 days to get there. Seems so short but I am dedicated to getting there.

Easter

¬†God I thought it was over yesterday…too bad because we had another brunch thing today. probably well over 2000 calories.

then I headed back to school where I am now. It’s about 2 pm. I think based on my life and how my classes are going I am going to stop eating meals after 2pm.

this way I can sleep earlier.

I think I am over 140 now. not sure exactly but will update later.

edit: I have no control what-so-ever.

I kept eating and eating and couldn’t stop. I felt full, I feel like I’m about to explode but couldn’t stop.

I need to be in control or else I’m just going to keep getting bigger. I weigh 143…the heaviest in a long time. I hat myself a lot right now.

need to make the change. maybe sign up for weight watchers online.

DIDN’T sign up for weight watchers. but looked into being fruitarian. as in only fruits, like ghandi. I will try…may start out slow and replace 2 meals…but hopefully I can fully make the change.

DAY 1- Why Now?

My family had a huge Easter dinner today. It’s actually the Saturday before, but we’ve always been a little off-beat. Anyways…I ate and ate and ate, til the point where I felt sick.

I’ve always been overweight. I’m naturally short and have a love for anything that’s bad for you. I’ve decided to make a change. My best friend lost weight (a lot of weight) last year. We went to separate schools, made the whole “I promise nothing will change between us’ pack…and then she came back a good 50lbs lighter.

We were the typical ‘like sisters’…that was until she became a stick and started to judge me for every bad thing I consumed.

Quite frankly I’m sick of it…more like fed up.

Well it wasn’t until today when our families got together and my mom pulls me aside and says ‘look how beautiful Ariel looks, that could be you too’.

gee thanks mom. I don’t think she meant it to hurt my feelings but it did. But she does have a point.

I currently weight 140lbs. A little while ago I weighed around 125 after I got my wisdom teeth out but gained it back right away. I did look A LOT better even at 125. But not as good as Ariel now, so my goal weight is 100lbs.

I’ve always been shy, never had a boyfriend, never had many friends, never been asked out.

so I feel at 100lbs, and my 21st birthday coming up(September) I want to start living my life.

so starting right now 8:07 pm April 23. I will make the change.